Translating the Inner Critic
😮“Woah, serious goosebumps,” she said, turning away from her paper to look at me, her eyes sparkling with tears and amazement.
🤯“Everything I’ve /actually/ been doing while trying to reach this goal has really been /against/ my values...like, exact opposite...no wonder it feels icky even though its safe...” 🙅♀️
I love developing coaching exercises by hand, eventually turning them digital for distribution.
🖍I lean in with her as she returns her attention to her Inner Critic Translation exercise, and smile gently as her pen waivers over the “Commitments” column.
💪“These - these I see how /powerful/ they are to /everything/ I’m trying to do and change right now, not just this first smaller goal we started the exercise with...and yet even as I feel how important these commitments are, they feel weightless, so good and right...and achievable…”
👿Her face shifts from muse to critic as she suddenly zeros in on the “Assumptions” column,
👺“I hear myself saying these things about why what I want isn’t possible, and about my worth...” her voice trembles, “and while I rationally know they aren’t true, they still feel true…or maybe that they’re true to my family...”
☄️“But you know,” she fires back at herself, “I seriously can name truth and examples that prove all of these wrong...F*CK...I really am doing all of this to myself based on a way outdated understanding of myself and expectations of others...F*CK!”
👀Her eyes flit from anger to forlorn to hope...to “Aha!”
🤦♀️“Oh man, Kate, this is changing everything...I thought I was alone in this constant cycle of going after something just to self-sabotage and fail without every trying…but it makes sense that our survivalist minds are trying to protect us, so that when something is really exciting and out of the norm - even when we want it to be - that it turns on all its defenses and warning systems…”
🌬I encourage her to take a few deep, cleansing breaths...in and out….in and out...let it go...let it go...limiting beliefs floating away...breathe…and have her visualize her newfound commitments and values in action...breathing as her authentic self.
😻She looks me in the eyes, her energy now exuding anticipation,
👩🍳“I really can live the life I want, can’t I? If I focus on taking actions aligned my values, 💪
strengths and these commitments? If I listen to and deal with my inner critic in a “for reflection” sort of way rather than the truth?” 🕵️♀️
👏“Yes, yes you can,” I reply, all smiles and hands clapping as the mindset shift rains goosebumps down on both of us -- one more smart, creative woman freed from our ancient, oh-so-wise but risk-averse brains. 🐻
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Complete the exercise yourself - with Coach Kate - by registering now for the LIVE, FREE MASTERCLASS, "5 Steps to Turn the Inner B* into a BFF" and to receive your ☀️BONUS PLAY-ALONG WORKSHEET ☀️