Need a hug? COVID making it hard to hug those you love? Great news, hugging yourself is (almost) just as impactful! 

Without knowing the science behind it, most of us can say that getting a hug makes us feel better. It’s a seemingly natural activity associated with welcome, love, joy, empathy, comfort and more. When we’re not feeling especially great, or feeling sad or scared, we often turn to those we trust for a hug and an emotional boost. We hug in celebration of reuniting, family and connection to make the good times even better.

Because of its obvious impacts, this innate human sense to leverage touch and the hug to enhance resiliency has been thoroughly researched to understand its less obvious impacts and what is actually happening physiologically.

The science behind the hug

I’m not going to go through all of the findings with you here (but read this article if you’re interested), but the key highlights of what researchers found is that hugging provides numerous health benefits including boosts your immune system, reduces your stress, improves your sleep and can even help with depression. 

Hugs trigger our brain to create a variety of ‘happy chemicals’ that then flood the body. A key one is the neurotransmitter serotonin, the ‘feel good’ hormone, which makes us feel happy, relaxed and confident. It’s also a known appetite controller and mood regulator. 

When we are stressed, our body is releasing the hormone cortisol, which triggers our ‘fight, flight, freeze, appease’ response and leads to a number of health issues. However, a hug also encourages the body to release oxytocin, the ‘love or bliss hormone,’ which reduces the levels of cortisol levels, making us feel calmer and more relaxed. Additional studies are finding oxytocin plays a role in helping keep us young and maintain muscle strength.

Hugs also teach us about giving and receiving, and help enhance our relationships with others. 

Virginia Satir, a famous author and psychotherapist, once said that, “we need four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs for maintenance, and twelve hugs for growth.” 

Going solo (together)

Basically, hugs are a pretty magical anti-stress, pro feel-good activity that are not only free, but also contain no side effects. So when something like a pandemic knocks on your door that increases stress 10-fold itself, and closes down the hug wagon altogether because you live alone, or the usual huggers in your life aren’t around, it’s hard. But guess what, there is a solution for that! Hug yourself! 

All of the reasons why hugs chemically “work” to make us feel good continue to work when we give ourselves a good embrace. This means when you’re feeling down, giving yourself a good 20-second hug can turn your mood around, providing contact comfort and a feeling of safety and self-compassion that reduces the nervous system’s reactivity to pain and threat. In addition, research found that actual physical pain is reduced when our arms are crossed across our chests as it confuses our brain. 

It also means that when you jump on that Zoom call with those you love, you can all hug yourselves while thinking about and looking at each other and feel the warmth and joy flow through your body. Get the experience of hugging your mom, your best friend, when you can’t be together. 

While I’m bringing this topic up during COVID-19 social distancing, showing yourself love and compassion with a self-hug all year long is affirming, builds confidence and self-love, and supports us in feeling strong. Being loving towards ourselves may feel new or silly, but it works! So try it!